Oh, the joys of planning a wedding. It’s an exciting time in your life and an opportunity to show how much you care about someone by throwing them an amazing party. The last thing you want is for it to be overshadowed by the drama between your bridesmaids.
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Here are some tips on how to avoid that situation:
Ac cept that it’s not your job.
You can’t control other people’s behavior. It doesn’t matter if you’re the maid of honor or the bride; you can only control your own, and that means focusing on your own happiness in this situation. Your friends may be able to work out their issues on their own, but if they don’t want to, there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s not on you to fix this problem, you’re not responsible for their happiness.
This is why it’s crucial to remind yourself that a bridesmaid dress is just a dress and not an indication of your friend’s true feelings towards you as a person or her loyalty towards your wedding day as an event.
You don’t need all of your friends to get along with each other (or even with anyone else) at all times, that would be impossible in any case. All that matters is whether they love being part of this special moment in time, regardless of whatever drama might come before or after the big day itself.
Offer to share the responsibility of planning.
Once you’ve realized that your bridesmaids don’t like each other, the first step is to take a deep breath, accept that it’s not your fault and remind yourself that you can’t do it all on your own.
If you’re struggling with how to deal with the situation, we recommend taking another deep breath and putting on some calming music while you calm down.
Then, talk to them one-on-one about what’s going on. It might be scary or awkward, but this is their time as much as yours.
And if they have been acting like little babies about everything else around this wedding (your dress selection, who should be in the wedding party), then surely they must be able to handle talking about the fact that none of them really get along.
Make sure everyone feels included.
When it comes to planning the wedding and all of its events, you may feel like you’re the only one who knows what’s up. But you aren’t, your bridal party is there by your side on this journey, too. And if they aren’t excited about how things are going? Well, that’s something you need to hear about before it’s too late.
If your girls are having issues with each other already (or even if they just don’t seem super into being a bridesmaid), here are some steps she can take:
- Make sure everyone feels included in the planning process by inviting them out for ice cream dates or coffee conversations where you ask them questions about their life and interests. If someone feels left out of the conversation or doesn’t have much input on decisions being made about her role in your wedding, she might get frustrated and decide not to be part of it anymore.
Address any concerns early on in the process.
If you see that a bridesmaid is having issues with another bridesmaid, address the concern early on in the process. It’s much easier to work through concerns before your wedding than it is after your wedding.
You want to give yourself time to really understand where each person is coming from and what their concerns are.
If you can’t resolve the issue, try to find a compromise that works for everyone involved. This may mean asking someone who has a problem with another guest to step down as a bridesmaid so they don’t feel like they have no other choice but to leave your wedding party due to tension between two members of it.
And even if they agree with this decision, it’s still worth talking about how they feel about it.
Even if you can’t resolve a conflict, you can support both parties
Even if you can’t resolve a conflict, you can support both parties by not taking sides.
If you’ve been asked to be a bridesmaid, it’s because your friend has chosen you as an ally in her life. That means that she sees something special in who you are and wants to share the most important day of her life with you as part of that journey.
If one bridesmaid doesn’t agree with this choice, they’re still being invited because they have played an important role in your friendship as well, even if it isn’t one that gets the spotlight all the time.
Rather than addressing the issue head-on, which is often best left up to friends themselves or their significant others, you may want to consider how this dynamic might affect your relationship with other members of the wedding party and their partners (if there are any).
Your friend could also use some help from family members or close friends who might have more experience dealing with these kinds of situations.
The best you can do is to be a good friend and support both parties in their efforts to resolve the situation.